my love / hate of womanship.

Top 10 awesome perks of being female

1.  you get to say super cute whenever you want without sounding ridiculous.

2.  Shopping is a lifestyle.

3.  SEPHORA!   make up is my medicine... this shop makes my heart sing.

4. You can always get out of the hard labor jobs pulling the damsel in distress bit and why not honestly, men have no problem pretending cleaning is a foreign word.

5.  spas.  massages.  all the luxury things as a woman you are expected to do on the regular. 

6.  the natural ability to multi task. 

7.  Dresses.

8.  Girls nights full of chatter and sillyness. and party planning madness.

9.  Free drinks. 

10.  No one ever expects you to be able to fix things around the house or with the car so you can simply get out of it by saying "i dont know anything about that, can you do it for me?"  -- however, if you do know how to do it you just end up looking even more amazing because not only can you do all the super awesome woman things + + +



a few reason i get just a little jealous of males:

1.  camping would be SO MUCH EASIER if we could pee standing too!  i dont think guys really have any idea how very little aim we have.  its such a mess and it makes camping and the like so difficult, its not just about the lack of showering boys..  its the lack of showering with pee stained legs for days on end.. the fear of tipping over into your pee cos you had a few too many beers and its not easy to remain stable while you're trying to wipe.... the shuffling around for tp in the middle of the night...

2.  guys get to burp and fart and be disgusting with out looking unattractive and rude.

3. and mostly because they have more control over their emotions... they dont seem to be ruled by feelings all the time and crying doesnt just happen cos a baby bird fell from its nest...

  i guess someone's gotta keep puff's in business.

and thats gotta be it cos mostly, women are the superior gender, right?!!

people can be so judging.

i read a book recently about change, accepting it, learning how to live with the new life you have after it... how you dont realize while going thru the hardship of an end / beginning, looking back you will find those are the times you learned the biggest lessons.



I've gone through boat loads of change in the past couple years.. many hard lessons to learn and obstacles to overcome. sometimes it feels like punishment and i can become so angry thinking... why me??  --- as i suppose we all think at times.  but more so than just the tough issues at hand i find myself frustrated with the judgement. 


we all have struggles.  we all go through moments of shame we wish no one would ever know about.  we all have those times when we feel so small and vulnerable that all it takes is a feeling of disapproval and you could crumble into thousands of pieces.... or is that just me?  the more i think about it.. how often is it that you actually hear the raw truth.  the REAL.  HARSH.  NO BULLSHIT feelings and thoughts a person goes through at their worst.. and when you do... how many people in that persons day to day life have any idea? 

that lady at the coffee shop who didnt look up and pushed by you.. the one who couldnt smile and looked lost and you felt frustrated and thought "how rude"... i wonder what her suffering is?  maybe she's having a bad day.. maybe she just lost her father? 

the guy at your office who's always being too polite.. almost annoying like. saying hi every morning.  always having a great day. asking about your weekend, your kids.. often you think.. mind your bloody business would you?!  maybe he goes home to an apartment alone and has no one to talk to until he comes to work the next day.. maybe his wife and children just left him... you'd never know would you... but i bet its easy to judge him and think, why is he so happy all the time?  what's there to be happy about every morning at work?

i have struggled for years with the lack of sympathy, empathy, compassion in this world.  its so much easier to step on another to climb up that ladder to the top, right.  why develop concern for a stranger and put thought into their needs when we've all got our own struggles.... they'll figure it out. 

it's far too easy to judge.. natural i think.  so harsh. so cold.  so unnecessary. but yet we all fall into the trap of assuming whatever makes it easiest to believe of a person.. just at simple glance, a small glimpse of a tiny detail of a persons life that probably means nothing anyway. but judge away...

oh look at how perfect she is, i bet she never has a bad day in her whole life.   well at least that lady is fatter then i am.. no need to feel so bad then.  i bet that guy has loads of money, must be nice not to have to stress about anything just buying anything you want all the time....

i dont know what i really expect to come of writing about this.. if nothing else maybe just evoke some type of thought and prevent even just one person from being so harsh  the next time around..

often we have no real idea of the path others live..

why not be that person who...

smiles at strangers.

buys the next guy's coffee.

holds the door open.

helps the neighbor with their groceries.

compliments the cashier on her hair..

may not seem like much but what's it gonna hurt?









 

i recently watched the

extreme home makeover show that was about a family who had lost their daughter because she was texting and driving.  it was sad, well and happy as they all are.  this family was really trying to make a difference and reach out to others by using themselves and their experience as an example.  must be really hard to continue everyday to force an issue and at the same time not be able to forget about your loss as its right in your face all the time...

so anyway.. after watching this very touching show and thinking / feeling just sick to my stomach about this family and the negative affects driving while distracted can do to a person / family... i go to the website and read about what happened to the girl and there is a pledge you can take.  the family has set up a page where you take a pledge to never text and drive... i wanted to do it... i felt like it was the right thing to do it!  who would ever know if i sent one little text here and there after signing the pledge???  --- ME!  i simply cannot live with myself saying that to the world and then the very next day sending a text while driving.. i mean does this include not being able to send a text while at a stop light???   ---  what is the matter with me?!!?  why cant i simply just sign the pledge and wait 10 minutes or whatever it is to respond.. honestly, i doubt anything i have to text someone is that important it cant wait. 

i am wide awake at 12:38a thinking about this because i know it doesnt make sense.  i know better.. ive been texting and looked up from my phone and had to swerve back in my lane.. ive said.. oooh that was close more times than i wish to admit.  --- i defo have cut down and generally only text when im stopped for a light but still, is it that difficult?  apparently i need to address this with my therapist.. adding it to the list.

zodiac changing bit.

apparently... if you have facebook atleast you will have already noticed the full upheaval which i orginally partook in myself until i decided there HAD to be more too this! 

anyway, theres a story on msnbc: 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41047777

which is stating the zodiac has changed and when you look at it basically 80% of ppl appear to have been bumped to a different sign.

then you find story's like this on CNN:  

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/13/no-your-zodiac-sign-hasnt-changed/

a whole lotta something about nothing!!!

this kinda stuff drives me nuts!!  another way the media puts things in away that those who read only a small part of a story and start getting all wound up before really researching around to see that its not such a big deal.  besides, i dont care what an article says about my sign changing from a Taurus to and Aries... there is no way i fit the Aries profile.... carry on. 

So... i missed it, right...

the memo that went out yesterday about the new US Holiday?  or was it advertised in the tv during the football game last night... no wonder i didnt know about it.  National Dip Shit Day, of course.

im not the most impatient person in the world, im well aware of this.  growing up so close to minneapolis i learned pretty quickly how to drive aggressively, well and defensively of course.... the older i got the faster things needed to be attained.  my first job was in Fast Food... then i was a food server.. nothing slow about that!  the majority of my adult life ive spent in an office manager type position which requires you to be quick on your feet, i was the one you went to when you needed to "get things done!"  when ive done work travel id get up at 4:30a to be on a 7a flight that would arrive around 11ish.. we'd get the rental car, grab lunch (meanwhile talking about business the whole time obviously) then to the office and working until 6p... quick run to the hotel to check in and off to happy hour, dinner, after dinner drinks... 6 hours of sleep and go go go.

so yah, i like to get things done and on to the next ... well, thats what ive grown accustomed to... my recent move to a much smaller town in wisconsin has be a breath of fresh air.. i like a little slower pace... i like to chew my food ... take the necessary bathroom breaks when i want instead of when time permits.. go for a bike ride and stop to smell the roses... well right before dinner because after a quick meal we need to get to the grocery store, target, return the movie, buy dog food, get gas for the car.. just a quick stop by matts grandparents for a chat and help them with the odd chore to get home early enough to make lunch for tomorrow and give the dog a bath.. wash a quick load of laundry and watch the news before hitting the sheets of course, all at a very natural pace really... old habits die slow.

i like the thought of slow and easy HOWEVER.... in the middle of a weekday you should respect others need for a little hussle factor!  i get the whole stopping for pedestrians in the crosswalk thing.. but do they really need to walk immediately across a busy road with out even raising an eye to acknowledge the natural flow of traffic... come on, be reasonable.  and do you really need to be texting while walking across the road in front of a load of cars just waiting on you, while you are completely clueless giving absolutely zero attention to except to text Tessa: "How RU? HH later? 50c taps at the library".... REALLY!?!  do you know how bad id feel if i wasnt paying attention and hit you with my car and you got hurt, do you!? ... so i just give a light tap on the horn with a frown of displeasure and a slight raise of the hand to say WTF?!!?  --- and Matt's annoyed with me for being impatient..... this was only the beginning of a long line of stupidness today.

driving in small towns makes me feel a bit hostile.  just a bit.  a little sense of urgency isnt going to kill anyone. its also not necessary to ask 8 billion questions when you need to schedule and eye exam check up.  Yes, i had the exam already (isnt that in the computer?)  yes my information is all the same... i was just there 2 weeks ago.  is there anything wrong... well, yes and no, i mean, arent you suppose to have a follow up appointment to make sure your contacts fit properly?  No, they dont fit properly, thats esp why i need to come back.  whats wrong with them.. well... they dont feel good... and one ripped with in 2 days of wearing them.. yes i know how to care for them properly ive been wearing contacts for over 15 years.  no im not wearing them now, THEY'VE RIPPED!  have YOU ever tried wearing a ripped contact?  well im wearing my old contacts now, the ones that have worked properly for years... when? well as soon as possible i suppose. ... okay, can we just talk about this all tomorrow when i come in then?  sure, talk to the doc and call me back if you need to i guess but ill be in tomorrow though, so... i dont know if thats necessary, ya think?  yep, my phone number is still the same from 2 weeks ago.  yep.. see you tomorrow.. nope, dont need a call for an appt reminder, i think im good.  ... she MUST be bored.  and slow... or yah, the memo... doh.

maybe i need to pick up drinking again.. maybe i wouldnt care so much.. well then, id be the one at happy hour not worrying about eye appointments.  HH at the library anyone?  50c taps... you down?