go to sleep!!!

i cant sleep.

do you ever have those nights no matter how tired you are or what big event is going on the next day you absolutely can not sleep!  of course i could probably go drug myself and get some sleep but then i know ill be really sleepy tomorrow and i hate that, plus i try not to use medication when i dont absolutely need it.  i said TRY.

anyway... im pretty sure the reason i cant sleep is because of an issue i had earlier with my bf's family.  the stickiest situations always seem to happen with familes and because im not close with mine its especially hard for me to tolerate others due to my unfamiliarity of how it all works.

so heres the sitch... this family does not communicate very well which in itself drives me CRAZY!  then to top it off there are several members with giant delusions who tend to believe certain members are pretty much on the level of jesus himself.. my bf and i actually came to the conclusion that a certain uncle of his must actually have a phone that rings directly to obama himself with all the wisdom he apparently knows.  i dont understand where this comes from at all.. i guess maybe when i have kids someday i'll get the whole "my kid can do no wrong and how dare you say he may be slightly less than perfect?!!!?"  whatev.  when someone tells me my dog did something wrong i immediately think, ugh i bet he did that... naughty puppy!! not... ugh, my dog would never do that.. are you sure??  are you just plotting against him to make him out to sound like the worst dog ever??  how could you say that about MY dog.  my dog doesnt do that sort of thing.  pfft, that person is stupid and clearly wouldnt know their head from a whole in the wall (i dont actually know what that means but my mom said it growing up)  parents of the world.. well the one or two parents that actually read this are probably cringing at my comparison for kids to dogs however this is the only example i could possibly use.  so the next time you want to try and understand things from my point of view just tell your kid to sit, shake and lay down.  then give them a treat and they should go away for awhile :)

anyhow.  this situation bothered me so much because:

1. the obvious issue was due to said "jesus like figure" however no one has the balls enough to say it.

2.  i get sick and tired of going along with ideas and putting myself out because its important to "go with the flow" 

3.  when is it ever the right time to say it like it is.

4.  i know im going to be the bad guy if i say how i really feel but how else do i keep going along with this bullshit and still live a morally conscience life!!???!

the biggest issue i have with all this is my bf is the type that never wants to rock the boat and because i love him dearly i try with everything in me to respect his wishes. however, somethings gotta give.. soon!

i think im ready to write dear abbey... or martha or whoever you write that seems to know all the right answers and give you an excuse to be a bitch because its ridiculous you've been playing along with this little charade as long as you have!