albino spiders... EEEK!

i HATE spiders.  not as much as snakes but pretty damn close. they creep me out, move too fast, all i can  think about is how many ive swalled thus far in life..im sure there's a fact somewhere about ppl swallowing a large percent of spiders in their lives.  sick.  i wonder how much it costs for a company to come in your house and spray toxic chemicals to assure those little suckers are gone... i wonder if thats even safe.. or how often you'd have to do it so they dont come back?

the other day i was doing a re-org of the kitchen cos the weather has been getting pretty chilly in the am  and concerning the saftey of my beloved plants this become priority.  i was in a panic state to find the ideal spot for maximum growth as to further my status as the best gardener ever.  

there are only 2 windows in this dump of a rental townhouse we've got (the only plus side is cheap rent.. well and its not quite a total dump it just lacks a dish washer and matt refuses to take on the job himself.... pfft, i totally would do it myself however i hate the soggy hand feeling of sticking your hands in that nasty soap water and it takes SO long, besides after meals is the perfect time for me to do sudoku while matt does the dishes, duh) nevermind, so i moved the kitchen island in front of the window as a plant stand.. this was not exactly the purpose as we truly have about 1 sq. foot of counter space.  this palce was defo designed to appeal to the microwave chef. and those who use all disposable silverware. thats a whole bucket of issues im not going to carry on about now.  

 

i decided to bring this plant in  

just to see what it would look like cos i have to try it out for my dose of immediate gratification,...just as i set the heavy beast of a plant down a HUGE, RABID ALBINO SPIDER WITH DEATH FANGS AND A RAGING ANGER PROBLEM came racing out on the table.. this thing was massive, at least the size of a quarter.. or a pie plate, i cant remember exactly but i know its somewhere in between the two.

I freaked.. if i had been holding my newborn child over a hot stove of boiling water i  defo would have dropped the poor thing to grab whatever closest to me guaranteed to flattened him.. i suppose this is partly why i dont have children... i hope i dont have a child and drop him and end up getting protective services after me and then the little bugger would end up in foster care and probably become a criminal because of the neglect and anger about his parents being suitable enough to care for him, yikes.

did i get him you ask.. the spider... i know the suspense is killing.... i sure did!!  flat as a pancake! no, flatter than that.. pancakes are kind of puffy so i guess more like flat as hair after you use a straight iron and not just any straight iron but the type that cost a ridiculous amount of money cos they work super well!  

so i tell matt this thinking he is going to be as disgusted as i am .. i mean obviously this place is infested with rabid albino spiders!  clearly he will immediately call the landlord asking how to get rid of these beasts!  and if they wont take care of this issue he will threaten for us to move out or call some type of higher authority to get them in trouble and never find any renters again!  To my shock and dismay none of that happend!!

his response?  "you've got the patio set up like a rainforest, what do you expect"  ... well ive been to the rainforest and i did not even see one single albino spider, not even a regular black spider.  -- obviously he is confused. besides, i didnt know all these plants would attract spiders?!  ugh.